That last post that I wrote...I just read it over and I just wanted to note that obviously there is more to it than what I said. With the restlessness and the crying spells, those things don't just appear out of thin air. There are things, issues, that affect me but I am burying or trying to bury them deep inside. But alas, though I try to bury it, doesn't mean it's not there affecting me all of the time. I can try to suppress my feelings, act as if certain things don't bother me and not want to go through the pain of addressing the things that I know do. Doing this, I believe is causing me pain and sometimes this pain comes out and I don't recognize it at the time for what it is.
They say depression is anger turned inwards. I can truly relate to that. I hold anger inside of my body. Anger at myself, anger at others, anger at the world because I HATE the way that anger feels. Sadness is such an easier emotion to handle. At least I can cry, sleep and ignore it all. Anger makes me feel like I have to take some type of action. And guess what?? I DON'T WANT TO ACT! Oh how I love psycho-analyzing myself. :)
Anyways, I know that I need to get these emotions that I am burying out of my heart and do something about them.
That is my new lil project. One step at a time.
1 comment:
I read somewhere that to deal with anger, one has to focus in on it. Just hold on to that emotion, and you'll find that the more you try to tighten your grasp on it, the quicker it will start to slip away. Emotions are fleeting, and before you know it, your anger will subside just as quickly as it came on. I don't know if it works for everyone, but it's worth a try. Stay strong, Mieko! You can overcome anything if you set your mind to it.:)
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